It's the reason

I have finally figured out why I'm not a great artist:
 I've never had any hardship and struggle in my life.

I didn't grow up rich but my parents made sure that my sister and I didn't go without anything that we needed. We didn't always get what we wanted, but we never went without Christmas presents or birthday presents or a new Easter outfit.  My parents did the best they could so my sister and I didn't have to struggle and I know that and appreciate that.
Whenever I've made bad decisions, my family was always there to help me out and support me. Even my bad decisions in life aren't bad in comparison to others: I've never done drugs, I don't have a drinking problem, I've never had a falling out with a family member or lost a friend over an argument, I've never filed for bankruptcy, never been pregnant so I've never had to decide to give up or keep a kid, I don't have health problems that keep me in and out of the hospital or require some sort of medication. Even now, I may not have any spending money to buy new shoes or go out to eat every night, but my bills are paid and I have a place to live and food in my cabinets. My decisions tend to go wrong when I don't listen to my "gut" feelings: intimate relationships for example. But even then, I don't think of that as any sort of struggle because I never really allowed anything to escalate dramatically. Nothing good can come out of that, right? Wrong. Good art apparently emerges from the ashes of something burned down. Seems like only when there is a struggle is there room to get creative.
I'm not saying I need to start proverbial fires, but I really do need to find my "thing". The thing that makes me recognizable. The thing that when people see it, they say, "Oh, that's gotta be a Vicki thing."
I don't know what it is.
I also finally figured out why I get so angry at my classmates when we turn in assignments and even though we're all getting critiqued, I look at their projects and think "when am I gonna do something cool?" I get mad at them because they are in the same place I am, but starting out earlier than I did: they're younger than me, yet that much further ahead than I am. And that makes me mad because when I was 20 years old, I didn't have the first clue about anything - at all. And here these kids are coming up with great ideas on how to create something. Then there's me. With all my life experience over them, you'd think I would know more and have more ideas, but I don't.
I am still thankful for the family and friends that I have. Hopefully I can learn to draw inspiration some other way.