Who needs a roommate...not this girl!

So the other day, my friend, who I used to live with, texted me and asked "how is single living?"
 I think I forgot to answer her because I was enroute to deliver some suitcases I had borrowed. She has a two year-old and is going to nursing school, so I don't hold it against her if she doesn't read my blog every time I post one. She obviously didn't know about the brown bananas.
Well, I will answer the question now. I'm eating all my food, now that I've come to terms with the fact that it's ALL MINE and I don't have to share with anyone else. When I walk out into the living room and see socks on the floor, at first I think "Who the hell left these...." then I remember and think, "oh, yeah, those are my socks." I remember my mother telling me that when I was first born and she was home with me all day, she kept thinking she was babysitting. "When are these people gonna come pick up this kid?" She told me she had to get it in her brain that I was her kid and I wasn't going anywhere. Since I've never lived by myself before, some days I come home and sit on the couch to watch t.v. and think, "When's my roommate getting home?" and then I remember, "Oh yeah, there is no roommate to worry about."

Here are some signs I found that make me yell "praise allah" because I don't have a roommate and glad I never had roommates like these!

if I had this roommate, I'd stab him in the face