More than a few years ago I invented an alter ego who I call The Travel Girl. I was backpacking in Europe at the time and making a birthday gift for a boyfriend. I made a fun little magazine for him which contained a crossword puzzle, horoscope, advertisements and the feature story was about me missing him as I traveled half a world away. I don't have that boyfriend anymore, but there is still The Travel Girl A Go-Go stories and "someone" who interviews her. Here is the latest edition and a couple more for you to enjoy!
Travel Girl a go-go sees Amarillo by
morning
Interview by Clay Potts
Written by Victoria Willis
The last time we heard from our
Travel Girl, she was settling into college life and blazing the roads of
Dallas, Texas. Now, approaching a move out of a spare bedroom and into her own
apartment, she invites a friend to join her on the six hour trek to retrieve
some belongings previously left behind. We met at a café along highway 287.
Clay Potts: Hello! I’ve been told you
like to find interesting places to eat. Is this one of them?
Travel Girl: Sure. I mean, I’ve seen
the sign for The Rock Inn Café for years.
CP: What led you here today, other
than your car and the sign on the highway?
TG: Good one! Well, I had to get my
boxes of kitchen stuff so I could move into my new apartment back in Dallas.
It’s a lot closer to school and all the people I like to have fun with.
CP: How do your hosts, as you’ve
called them before, feel about you moving out?
TG: They are happy for me, like I’m
finally growing up. Being responsible – oh no! Ha ha ha. But I’d like to think
they’re a little sad. The house will still be lively, how could it not with a
two-year old running around? Still, I won’t be there to tease her like I do.
CP: So, who did you see on your trip?
TG: Well, my friend Corina, of
course, she was holding my stuff; my crazy, loud friend Christina; Stefanie and
Debbie, my adventure buddies from the Earth trip; Suzanne, my pseudo-mom, some
friends from work. I didn’t stop by to see my ex-boyfriend or my doggie. I
couldn’t go through that heartbreak again. Not yet.
CP: Oh. And your friend here, uh –
TG: Bernardo, or Victoria, however
you see my friend here.
CP: uh, right.
Bernardo/Victoria: Hi! I was so happy
to be taking this trip. I just loved hanging out with everybody! You’re cute!
OH! My burger is here! Yay!
CP: Well, looks like you two get
along pretty well.
TG: Yeah. We started the trip
listening to her music, which I had heard most of it, then we switched to my
music. I put on Beastie Boys and she said, “Who.” And I was like, all serious,
“What? You don’t know the Beasties? Get the fuck out of my car!” I mean, who
never heard of the Beasties? But, of course, I was just playing, I wouldn’t
actually send anyone flying out of my car at 70 miles per hour. I educated
Bernardo on this trip for sure. I also took him to The Big Texan so he could
actually see that 72-ounce steak! He decided
he shouldn’t attempt the challenge.
CP: I see. Now, on your way back you
stopped by your old job?
TG: Oh yes! I miss my old friends
there, but not the job. I talked to almost everyone. They all miss me. My
replacement tried to get me to take over for the afternoon! One of the judges
snuck some money into my purse so we could have a good lunch. They know me so
well to want to feed me. That’s how we’re able to pay today, otherwise we’d be
on the road eating dollar store Doritos right now.
CP: They sound great and it looks
like you’re about to get back on the trail. Good luck!
TG: Well, I always need that.
After the bill was settled, a local
guy dropped off a carrot cake and started passing out free slices. Of course,
our Travel Girl took hers to go.
* end
*
 |
| me in front of a trinket shop in Memphis getting ready to say "Will work for honey" |
Earth is Closed on the Weekends
A Travel Girl a go-go interview by Wendy Daye
Just when she thought she was done
with road trips for a while, the Travel Girl’s friends snag her for another
adventure. We met up with her at the Dairy Queen in Hereford, Texas to find out
what happened. She sat with Friend One and Friend Two looking unsatisfied.
Wendy
Daye: So, what was today’s tour?
Travel
Girl: Well, we set out to find Earth –
WD:
Wait, aren’t we on Earth?
TG:
Yes, but we set our coordinates for Earth –
WD:
But you’re already here.
TG:
Okay, look, before this turns into a big “who’s on first”, Earth is a town on a
map of Texas.
WD:
Oh. Well, now that makes sense. Why this place?
TG:
Why not? I saw it one day on a map and didn’t really have to twist anyone’s arm
to get someone to go. I mean, basically we wanted to try out all of our jokes
and have our pictures taken in front of the sign that reads “Welcome to Earth”.
WD:
Okay, now we’re getting somewhere.
TG:
Right. So we set our coordinates for Earth on her GPS thingy, which took us way
off course, but that’s part of the adventure, right?
WD:
I guess. Although, I really don’t know what kind of adventure can be had in a
field of corn and cow patties.
TG:
You’d be surprised. We drove past an empty lakebed, which looked like it used
to be really cool.
Friend
One: It really was. We used to spend our summers there boating and fishing –
TG:
And losing your uncle’s cooler!
WD:
I hope they found it.
TG:
Ha! That’s what they wondered when the lake was drained. Oh, then we stopped at
what looked like a hunting blind.
Friend
Two: We didn’t know what it was, so naturally we went to check it out.
TG:
Yeah. It was a prairie dog look out, also to see hawks and owls, bunnies and
whatever else was tramping around out there.
WD:
Wow. I didn’t know there was so much wildlife on this flat place. Where to
next?
TG:
We ended up following the directions on that stupid GPS whatsit all the way to
a fence. Finally, we shut it off and followed the electric poles up to a real road.
Friend
One: We played MadLibs, too!
Friend
Two: Oh yeah! What was that one about the royal fairy tale… “now that I know
I’m a royal tree, I’m going to live begrudgingly” or something about giving a
speech at the Bob awards!
WD:
Uh, I think I may have played that once at a slumber party when I was twelve.
So, did you ever find Earth?
TG:
Yes. And we were plenty hungry when we got there.
Friend
Two: We thought the Dairy Queen would be open, there’s always one open in dinky
towns.
TG:
But we found it: it had been closed for six years! The place felt like how
scary movies start. You know, abandoned buildings in a town where one guy
drives a truck slowly down the main street through the one blinking light.
Nothing was open! Totally deserted.
WD:
Oh! Where did you finally eat? I heard that you always find food.
TG:
I know that’s right. My Chinese zodiac symbol isn’t a rat for nothing. We
toddled over to Earth Meat Locker. They had brisket and barbeque plates and
stuff like that. Homemade sausage and beef jerky. Oh and the sauce! I could put
that on my arm and eat it right off!
WD:
Sounds…delicious?
TG:
We walked in, no tables, no chairs. Just some animal heads on the wall and a
five-item menu and a counter where you order. I said, “People of Earth. We’ve
come for your meat.” Nobody laughed. We figured either they’re tired of the
jokes or they don’t get it.
Friend
One: They were nice ladies though and they directed us to a park where we could
picnic.
Friend
Two: Yeah. Literally, the whole town was there playing softball.
WD:
Was that why nothing was open?
TG:
Not sure, but we got to the park and found a table and I said, “People of
Earth, we are blending in with you.” We really weren’t.
WD:
Did they give you that “you ain’t from around here, are ya?” look?
TG:
Not really. I’m pretty sure they could pick us out of a line-up. Anywho, we
went photograph happy. Taking pictures of everything that had the town name on
it: Earth Police, Earth church, Earth post office, Earth theater, even Earth
cemetery.
WD:
Ugh!
TG:
It’s peaceful. We pulled up there and I said, “This is where People of Earth
come to rest.”
WD:
Let me guess, nobody laughed there either?
TG:
Good one. Well these two did. Then this one took out her fancy phone and pulled
up a “geo-caching” site that showed there was something hidden where we were,
so we looked for it and found it!
Friend
One: It was a small cylinder with a piece of paper inside that you sign to say
“I was here”.
TG:
We found some more treasures at a few other locations. Geo-caching is new to
me.
WD:
Sounds like a modern-day treasure hunt.
TG:
It really is, but you need one of those smart phones, which I can not afford.
WD:
Maybe you will once school is over.
Dairy
Queen employee: Uh, ladies, we’re trying to roll up the sidewalks here.
TG:
Of course you are, it’s 6 o’clock.
After we were escorted out, the
girls got into their “rocket ship”, as they called the little grey car they
were in, and drove home.
Later, I was told by Friend Two that
the Earth post office didn’t even stamp the card that was mailed from there.
She was looking forward to getting mail from Earth.
I guess Earth really is closed on
the weekends.
End
Travel Girl A Go-Go Swirls Some Grapes
Interviewed by Char Denay
written by Victoria Willis
Our go-go girl has taken one last trip
before going on a short hiatus for school. She landed in the mountains of
Virginia along the famous Blue Ridge Parkway in the luscious Shenandoah Valley.
The Travel Girl was spotted on a vineyard
patio, wine glass in hand, surrounded by green spring foliage, flowing rivers
and an early grape harvest.
Char Deney: You always seem to pick such beautiful
locations.
Travel Girl: It’s a talent. Plus, my parents live
near here.
CD: Nice! And this is your mother?
TG: Yes, but I told her she has to behave during my
interview – that’s why she’s going on the tour of this winery in a minute.
Mom: Yeah. She’s embarrassed by her mother, but I
don’t care! (Kisses Travel Girl and walks to the double doors) Ha! See ya,
girly!
CD: Wow. Now I know where you get your spirit.
TG: Gee. Thanks.
CD: How did you choose the wineries that you’ve
visited?
TG: Well, we got a map of Virginia wineries at a
visitor center and started with one that was closest. Then, basically, we just
headed up the interstate and took the exit when we saw an advertisement for
another.
CD: That sounds like a good plan. What would you
suggest for people that don’t live here?
TG: There are tons of hotels and motels all over
the main roads, but for a real Blue Ridge Mountains experience, a bed and
breakfast is always my pick. And they’re so easy to find these days on the
Internet.
CD: You’re certainly right. I’ve found three in
this area already on my iPhone.
TG: Sure, but I’m not that technologically
advanced. I just pick up brochures or, of course, start talking to folks when I
venture out to forage for food. That’s the fun way.
CD: Right. So, what is the best aspect of these
vineyards?
TG: That’s a no-brainer – the free wine! Some
places offer a small selection for tastings, depending on the season, and then
others offer a wider variety to sample, usually for a minimal fee, usually five
dollars.
CD: So, there’s spring wine and autumn wine?
TG: I guess you could call it that. Wineries always
have bottles from last season to sell, so it doesn’t matter what time of year
you visit. You’ll always get a great taste of what they have to offer.
CD: Would you call yourself a wine connoisseur?
TG: Ha! No way. A wine lover maybe, but, no, I
don’t know much about the grape growing, picking or processing. I just know
what I like. I have learned a few tips though.
CD: Oh, please share those.
TG: All righty. When you sample wines you’ll start
with the lightest, usually driest, first, then move on to the rose then reds.
Kinda like sushi – light to dark.
CD: I take it that’s another adventure?
TG: Been there, done that.
CD: Of course you have. So, what’s your favorite
wine?
TG: Since I’m from North Carolina, I always love
wines made from Scuppernong or Muscadine grapes. But, I also really like dark,
smokey reds or oaky whites. My mother likes crisp, sweet whites.
And, the wine growers always say, “drink what you
like… life is too short to drink wine that sucks.”
CD: They really say that?
TG: Well, something like that. But I agree, drink
what you like. Don’t worry about the rules.
CD: Rules?
TG: You know – white with chicken and fish, red
with steak, blah blah blah.
CD: Oh—
Vineyard employee: Sorry, ma’am, your mother is
wedged between two wine barrels. Could you help to calm her giggling and get
her out?
TG: Oh, brother! I gotta go.
As usual, there is always adventure waiting
when we catch up with the Travel girl a go-go.
To begin your own wine tour in the mountains of
Virginia, you could check out these wineries that were visited, but don’t stop
there, the Shenandoah Valley is over-flowing with wonderful vineyards.
*fin *
