Today I really felt overwhelmed at school. Not because I'm paying a lot of money to be there (that's the reason I usually feel this way, just thinking about all the money I'll have to pay back one day keeps me from sleeping sometimes).
Today we touched on Photoshop. Today was the first day I have ever seen or attempted to use Photoshop. Today I left school crying.
The two guys sitting on either side of me today already knew how to do all the basics that the instructor went over what seemed to me, at warp speed. I paid attention as I normally do, but some things I just couldn't remember. So when it came to the exercise to create a picture, there was just one thing that kept hanging me up. It's just so frustrating to want to do something and can't figure out how or remember what was just said about it half an hour before. There are just so many things and every single one of them in brand new to me. The class might as well have been taught in Hebrew today. I finally had to ask the teacher and he helped and was patient. He's an older guy. He could tell that I was frustrated. I told him that today was the first time I had ever seen this program and he said I was actually doing pretty good. I might be, but I still feel sort of left behind when all the other kids (I call them kids, because they are kids) are done with the main assignment and have moved on to more technologically advanced things that I couldn't even fathom if I tried.
What worries me most is this: These are the tools I will be using as a graphic designer and I can't see myself doing the things with them that the other kids are doing. I have the imagination, I just don't know how to implement my ideas. Will something like that lead to me not being able to find work after college?
6 comments:
When I was a high school sophomore I took physics instead of biology like the rest of my fellow 10th graders. I was the only sophomore in a class full of juniors & seniors. When we got to vectors I was the only one who had never heard of sine, cosine, and tangent, because I hadn't had trigonometry yet. The teacher didn't know that and blazed through them, the other kids nodding and following right along. They were astonished that I couldn't understand something that was so easy for them, and openly laughed at me. The teacher put a stop to that & came to my desk to help me. By the end of the week I was calculating vectors as quickly as the rest of the class. Chin up, sweetie. You've already got the creativity. The technical details will come with practice. And it won't take as long as you think.
thanks. I'm glad nobody's laughing, one guy in my class did say "I'll help you".
Teaching pedagogy says that you learn better when things are uncomfortable and you get frustrated. Because you were new to the subject you had a better lesson than the others. You are open to the teaching and not hindered by sloppy habits from being familiar with the program. The others would not be open to learning as much as you are. Hang in there, you'll be fine.
thanks Debbie, my private Physics teacher! Like I said, every single thing is brand new to me, just like when I lived in Mexico so I could learn Spanish. I guess I just like doing things the hard way.
You are awesome for even taking this step towards your dreams! I am going thru that now with my new job, but each day is getting easier, it will for you! I KNOW you can do it!!! Hang in there! Miss all of your wild stories ;-)
Thankfully you have friends who read your posts and encourage you in a much more timely manner. That being said...I'm over here rooting for you, too. :)
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