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three weeks ago

Three weeks ago I was getting ready to take all my portfolio projects in for week 5 review. I was really nervous because I kept remembering the last time I tried this…and failed.
Well, I passed that review, barely, because my teacher went to bat for me. The advisor was willing to give almost everyone a fail slip and my teacher pulled him aside and said, "Hold on, just take a look at the work she's done here and compare it to what she had last time. She's improved 1000%."
Now, today, I'm going to "Round 2". This is the week 8 review and it's either pass or fail. I'm super nervous now because I truly don't know what I will do if I can't pass this time. I know you're thinking, well, just try again. This is the case of easier said than done. My problem is that I have ideas all day long, but lack the skills to bring them to life. As much as I've practiced using my programs I've learned, gone to workshops at school, look at tutorials I find on YouTube and design sites, it just doesn't hit me like it does other people. But I keep trying because when I'm working on an idea, I know this is what I should be doing.
In the past when I've tried something and wasn't good at it, I quit, but that was because I never had the feeling of "this is what I should be doing". I knew I didn't have the talent for it and I didn't think I needed to explore it further. Some days when I get a bad review on a project, I think for a split second "maybe I should find something else to do."
At six o'clock tonight, I'll find out.

Here are a few examples of things I'm taking today:

here is an ad I did for week 5 and got bad review on it - they love the tagline "Obscenely Clean", so I changed it …..

Here is the new ad for the laundromat. I hope this one passes.  (I don't have permission to use the photo yet)

here is an example of a book I made to display the logos I made,  they love the book idea, but I changed the layout a bit. I hope this is better.

( I do not have permission to use that photo yet)

here is an example of a page that will be in my portfolio book. I will have more logos on more pages to show all the logos I have designed. But for now, since I'm not graduating, I'm not required to have everything in my portfolio book.

No crying today...

As most of you know I did not pass my first portfolio class earlier this year, so I took a semester off from it, had other classes, worked on new projects and took them in for review each week.
Now, I am in portfolio class again. The first week I left in tears, not because I was told that my work was bad and I needed something new, but I was just so scared remembering how I felt the last time I left the first week compared to week 8 when I had to drop the class or fail it. The last two weeks I did not leave crying, but there was still a lot of re-do's I had to make. I'm barely passing right now, but what counts is the mid-term review which is next week. We have to show up by 11am to set up, so I took off work next Thursday. Last time I showed up on time, got a pretty good table, set up, had every single piece I was required to have and still failed, because my work wasn't good. Instead of dropping the class then, I thought I could gather some people and get things sorted out and come back by week 8, the final review week, and make it up. But I was wrong. On week 5, the mid-term review, if a student gets a letter on their table after review is over, it's a suggestion to drop the class because the work is not good. I got one last time and I don't want one again this time and I am so scared I'm going to get one. Every time I think about it, I want to cry. Not because I failed, but because I feel as though I'm being told I'm not good enough to do the thing I love.
So here are some pieces I am entering for the mid-term review. I hope I pass.

this is a print ad for a green laundromat I invented. (I made this in Illustrator)

this is an infographic I did with some facts I found on the OSHA site ( made in Illustrator)

Event posters is not my thing, I can not make a poster and I can not illustrate,
but I think I did pretty good on this one. (I made this mock up in Photoshop)

this is a coupon I made for a print ad for this brand of noodles I invented. (made in Illustrator, of course, my favorite)

Here is a billboard (we were required to have an outdoor advertisement) I did for the
brand of noodles I invented. (I do not have permission to use the picture yet)(mock up made in Photoshop)